i make a contribution to the growing flooding problem in central europe....

frankfurt is a not so charming city built around a fairly charming river , the Maaaaaaain. last night drinking antics reached their climax; johnny walker came by, as did his driver, jose cuervo... leaving one bar, a pack of us made our way down the river, stumbling , careful not to fall in. i realize i have a whole lime in my pocket (of course) and this is unacceptable, so i throw it as hard as i can against a cement bridge girder. this is funner than i expect, and the others around me dont realize how much i love throwing shit into bodies of water. i find some concrete cylinders from a nearby construction site and throw them as far as i can, getting some major splash downs... i am walking west along the maiiin and the construction people seemed to have forgotten to affix a park bench to the ground. oops. i try to lift a side of it, and notice that it is totally movable but, i cannot do the work alone. a coworker of mine seems curious, but shy -- i shame him into lifting the other end... this park bench, where young lovers speak an incomprehensible language and smoke cigarettes, is all done. we drag this fucker to the river bank -- the mood in the crew is shock with a dash of glee. with an "eins, zwei, drei" we give the wooden bench a lift and toss into the swollen river, clearing the bank by a only a few feet.

normally i wouldnt condone the destruction of public property, or private property for that matter, but these people had it coming, and the doomed park bench provided some sense of release. i realized that this violated my earlier tenet of not being thrown in jail, and for a minute, i see myself being packed in a one-way train to Treblinka. but no outsiders see this, so we do a couple chest bumps and stumble into the red light district, which really is a whole different story...